In the few days since I had my staples and the cone of shame removed I’ve done a great deal of purring. As I was purring this morning it occurred to me that many less experienced cats may not know the finer points of a proper purr. So I decided to share my thoughts about purring so those with less purring experience can benefit from them.

It must be clearly understood that purring is not just something one does. Purring is a statement, an testimonial, an exclamation! Purr-testaments can be recognized into three broad categories:

• The purr-snooze: “I’m so happy, satisfied, and relaxed that I can hardly tell if I’m awake or asleep!”
• The purr-squirm: “I’m calm and relaxed yet so full of happiness and ecstasy I could just explode!”
• The purr-request: “I’m happy to be with you and I love you and I want something!”

It’s important to note that the purr itself is almost tangential to the act of purring. The experienced cat knows that what one does during the purr is just as important as the purr itself and should reflect the purpose, testament, and exclamation behind the purr.

The purr-snooze is perhaps the most challenging purr to execute. One cannot leap into it without preamble; it must be prefaced by walking several times in a circle, a thorough cleaning (ideally while perched atop a cat-parent), and rubbing the head against several nearby objects. Only then can the purr-snooze be fully effective. The eyes should be slightly open but unfocused. The body should be curled up but held limply; it should mold precisely to the contours of the lap, box, or basket. A slight overflow of paw or tail is desirable in a box- or basket-purr. The successful purr-snooze triggers firm yet gentle petting from head-to-tail from the cat-parent. The featured image shows me bringing off a masterful purr-snooze.

The purr-squirm requires less preparation but more energy. It is initiated from the lying-down position but is characterized by subtle yet constant motion. Feet should be extended to their full diameter using the flower-foot or petal-toe maneuver. Kneading is desirable in the lap-based squirm. The head should press firmly into the lap and the body should shift in a circular motion while remaining in a prone position. The purr-squirm is designed to bring play, scritches, and brushing from its audience. If you find yourself being petted during a purr-squirm you are being too passive: increase the tempo of your kneading and ensure that your head traverses the full 360 degrees of the lap. If the audience offers food or treats you may be overly active or partially upright. In this case check the pace of your movements and ensure your body is in full contact with the lap; rubbing the back along the part’s leg is a trick I use to remain in motion yet fully reclined.

The purr-request is an absolute classic and has been executed by cats through the ages! History’s most famous cats, including the renowned Morris, have done the purr-request. As the purr that brings food and treats it is the first learned by every kitten. The purr-request is performed from a standing or walking position with tail held high. The head may be butted or the flanks rubbed against the cat-parent if desired. It is very effective when combined with the quiver-tail or the small chirp or beep. The volume should gradually increase through the purr and match the intensity of the rub or quiver: “purrrrRRREEP!” I find this purr is particularly effective for rousing Cat-Daddy for food at 5:00 or 5:30 in the morning. With a groggy audience it can be used in conjunction with claws-extended kneading or a gentle yet purposeful nip with the teeth.

And there you have it: the seasoned cat-guide to the three basic purrs. I hope you find these tips useful and invite you to comment below and share your own purr techniques!